Last few days i've been thinking about the past few years. How i regret ever meeting Randy and Marrying him.
How i regret a lot of things with that relationship. I should have seen all the "red flags" but you know what they say Love is Blind. I can honestly say it truly was for me. I never ever in my life thought i'd get married...and then i did and i regret every minute of it. I use to say i'll never regret anything. but with my marriage how could i not regret all of it? It made me who i am today, but right now i don't see where thats any good.
Yes it made me stronger than what I would have been without marrying him. Of course i feel everything very deeply. I would be less jaded right now. I probably would have been in a relationship already if i wasn't so completely broken. But i am and i'm taking the time to heal. Taking the time to get back to me.
i cannot wait until this divorce is final, i'll be free of the chains. at least all legal chains...emotionally i'm not sure if it'll be that easy.
I look back and i see how each relationship has hurt me and how i can learn from them all...
but also i'm looking at how the future will be. idk how i can learn to live or love again...
i just know it'll all be so hard. but thats life...life's a climb...but the views great? right?
I'm starting that climb.
i found friends that i was never really friends with until recently idk what i'd do without them.
its like i've started this new life...even tho its not completely new...its so different. i'm different.
i'm going to finish this with a question to everyone...
What was your hardest challenge up until now?
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