My official Congrats!

Its so funny these days. I think someone thinks she really getting to me but i'm literally laughing with every statement she makes. She made the comment that shes having the baby i was supposed to have....ok sweetheart congratulations, sincerely! but i'm sorry i don't feel that way. Randy and I were not meant to have children...why? b/c we had major problems...God didn't want me to be tied to him for the rest of my life.
as for me not being fertile...well i am. i have no problem in that area. so thanks for ur concern.

Things are going great with me! I got a new camera..i love it! School is going good.
Everything seems to be going great for me. Except my friends grandfather is passing away and i heard its any minute now...god please help the whole family!

I'm doing a few photo shoots soon...so excited to do it all!
My Photography class has been amazing my teacher says my work is amazing! and that i'll have a long full career in photography...its funny bc i think about how Randy wouldnt let me go to school for this and now all my dreams are coming true.

I have people asking me when am i going to start dating again...well when my divorce is final duh!!!
funny thing is i was about to sign the papers and he fired his lawyer so it stopped the divorce...so the ? is why the hell would he do that if he wants to start a family with her and marry her?
I'm happy that he has found his perfect mate. but it is sad that they are having a bastard child. i mean a child out of wedlock...sorry i have to put it that way but my views on life really changed in the last few weeks. I heard he is in the hospital, hopefully he gets better soon! But the allegations of me calling him are false. Why would i call him?! I'm not sure what else is being said but good luck to them both...she'll need all the luck she can get.

Ok i'm done with this blog for now...Off to do homework!
ta ta for now!

RANDYS IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL!!

LMAO!!!! OK So i had to call the navy today...bc i haven't gotten my support. But i just got a call...
that bitch put on her blog that randys in the hospital bc he was in a car accident and i was actually worried about him! then i get a call...Randys in the nut ward! LMAO! I laughed so hard a cried!
Sounds like his life is so great! lmao!
if i was with her i'd be in the nut ward too! lmao
I'm Loving this!
Cant handle it all sweetheart? awww poor baby!

The Restoration

I really needed this weekend. That whole saying I once was lost but now i'm found....yeah that has some meaning to it. I have been wanting to go since they started having these every year. But i never had enough want or need or anything like that to go. And when i did i couldn't b/c of my husband. But this year i felt a "pull" like something inside of me wanted to go, yearned to go...so i went!
When i got there i was walking towards the building and a gentlemen asked me if i needed a wrist band and i said yes...he handed me one for FREE. Now i see that as an act of God. ...Thank you...
The music was unbelievable! Hearts of Saints was amazing! A certain song made me cry my eyes out last night and so i had to get a CD.
Today was different. I felt like someone was with me the entire time although i went alone. it wasn't easy to just give my entire life over to God. everyone it seems like doesn't believe or has some opinion about religion so i've steered clear of it. But now i'm deeply rooted. I HAVE FAITH.
I had to leave early b/c i was in so much pain i couldn't stay. I went to get my ciggs..b/c u have to check them in...and i mentioned my pain so this man started talking to me about this bracelet. then he did a demo on his fellow staff member...then on me....and it really helped with my balance! He said it helps him with his pain...and gave me his number so i could purchase me one when i had money to do so...then i was talking tell the woman about why i'm so stressed and why its so bad...they ended up putting me in a circle and praying FOR me. i cried my eyes out. No one has ever done such a thing. we talked more and after i settled down the man said that the woman would like to buy me the bracelet! its 40 dollars! She was an angel.  when i walked towards my car my life was changed.
Everything i heard for the past two days hit home...and its all helped me so much. I'm changed. I did this for me. and Jesus saved me.
enough said!

Black and White photos of Alex

Alex is a real "trooper" lol....every time i take photos or want to all i have to say is ok alex lets go...and he is ready! Thank you Alex for helping me out all the time!

Just another update

I've been meaning to blog for awhile but i've been so busy "starting shit" that I just haven't had time...lol not! 

I've been busy with school! Its hilarious to me, a year ago I didn't really know who i really was. I was a wife. That was it. I was stuck in an apartment mostly alone all the time, i slipped into "a great depression" b/c of everything going on in my life at the time that i ignored everything. I even remember not cleaning all i wanted then was my family. 

I have that all now. I'm not entirely happy. No that won't happen for probably awhile. but the fact i'm out of Florida and back in Ohio and that i don't have to deal with everything that happened in that apartment...makes me content with my current circumstance. I'm technically Married- but its more like single since he is sleeping with a nasty hoe and we haven't talked for awhile...other than a few messages from him to me. Its sort of funny at night i kinda miss that man i fell in love with years ago, the man i married not the man he is today. But somehow I'm coming to terms with the fact that he is gone, no longer in this world. b/c he truly isn't he changed. other than sometimes breaking down and thinking i'm not superwoman i can't do this all....someone puts me in my right place and i realize i'm alright. I don't mean someone cusses me out...which reminds me....

IF HE WANTS THIS DIVORCE TO BE QUICK....AND WANTS ME TO AGREE TO WHATEVER HE WANTS....HIS BITCH NEEDS TO STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME. SHE MAY NOT SAY MY NAME BUT I KNOW WHO THE HELL SHE'S TALKING ABOUT. HELL EVERYONE KNOWS! AND FYI BITCH- I DON'T READ YOUR SHIT, OTHER PEOPLE DO AND THEY TELL ME ABOUT IT. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PUT UP WITH YOU AND YOUR "STORIES!" BUT JUST A MESSAGE TO HIM I'LL GIVE UP FIGHTING EVERYTHING IF SHE FUCKIN COMPLETELY STOPS...IF NOT I'LL MAKE HIS LIFE A LIVING HELL AND WILL GO TO COURT AND FIGHT FOR WHAT I THINK IS BEST FOR ME! I HOPE SHE KNOWS SHE IS MAKING THIS DIVORCE HARDER THAN IT SHOULD BE. I'M TIRED OF HEARING PEOPLE TELL ME WHATS GOING ON. I DON'T NEED THE BULLSHIT. NOR DO I WANT IT!

ok now that, thats outta my system...oh wait more with that but its not bad or anything...supposedly he is signing the car over to me...supposedly but you know my husband he has never done anything he has been court ordered to do or is supposed to do. b/c he is her little puppet. 

Ok once again sorry for digressing, I need to get furniture for my new place...I'm also so excited for next week...Im getting a new camera..probably a gift from my parents bc everyone that knows my situation knows i cannot even buy my own meds right now..which is why last week i was missing for awhile, i was in the hospital. Gosh, i really want to blog about everything going on....like Kaleb i dated in only in 2007 actually a few months b4 i met my now husband...anyways he was trying to cheat on his gf with a friend of mine so we told his gf wat he was doing...Every man that thinks he can cheat really needs to learn a lesson...actually every cheater does. But now he hates me, we were friends now he told me to and i quote "eat shit and die" lmao like that hurt my feelings or something. 

It was beautiful out today...again....So I got to take some photos for my photography class. 

Which reminds me. this is how i'm doing...When i was married i had nothing in life, alone and no goals in life. Every time i wanted something i had to run it by Randy, and when i did i was shot down every time...NOW...I'm in college. I'm going to start my own photography business as soon as i can. I HAVE GOALS, I have a better life times a million. yeah i don't have someone to hold me during the night, and for once i'm alright with that! Matter of fact since i was 18 i have always had someone but now its almost been a whole year without being someones girl...and i'm okay with that! Besides right now is more of a time for healing from the wounds he inflicted on me. But yeah so people say my life is boring...and i can tell you for a fact that its not boring what so ever. I finally feel like lifes worth living again. 

So Friday i'm hoping my mother and I can go to The Restoration I want to go more than anything ever! I did go to the bar a few weekends ago...which reminds me THANKS CASSIE! (and everyone else i hung out with that night) It was fun! I wanted to go out dancing this weekend but I rather go to The Restoration!

sooo i dont know what else to type. 

I need to get some Art Appreciation homework done...and then do a 3 hour exam..fun fun! 

So i'll post something again soon....i'm sure of it! ooo next blog will be photos!

New Apartment

Well as you all know i've been needing to get my own place and not stay with my brothers and friends and sometimes my parents! So finally i got my own place! I needed this! So much!
I'm trying to figure out how to decorate...i have very little but i'm sure i can make due.
with moving in and class things are hard! but i'm sure i can get thru it all...i mean look wat i got thru with my marriage....
welp thats it for now...i'm going to go relax on MY couch. getting cable turned on soon but for now i'm going somewhere tonight to see if i can watch idol

I hope your happy...

I'm tired of the bullshit. i hope your all happy.
As for Randy's girlfriend ....thanks for everything.
but i'm tired of the bullshit drama maybe i'll just spare him and end it all.