But for some reason i cant. Maybe its b/c my entire life i've had to defend myself.
I cannot just sit here while you post blogs about me.
So this is my response to your "letter" to "Crazy Bitch"
To you i'm "Crazy" for telling everyone the truth? Do you think i like people watching me 24-7 to make sure i don't kill myself? NO i hate it. Honestly I hate my life. I told myself at a young age i wouldn't get married unless i was completely and utterly in love with someone and with Randy I WAS. hell i still am. But i'm in love with the man i married...not the MONSTER he is today. I dream of St. Augustine and JAX beach. I loved having him by my side, in public.
At first Randy was talking to women on the internet...then on his cell phone...Just like he did with me.
He started hitting me and laughing...i kept making excuses. he threw a 20 oz bottle of pepsi at me and my eye and cheek hurt for 2 weeks...he chipped my tooth at first, then he started with more beatings for random things...
I live in fear everyday that he is going to walk thru the door and will have a reason to hurt me. you will never know the fear i have everyday. I have PTSD from it. I barely come out of my room and i'm scared of men now. I can prove to you that my teeth were almost perfect when i married him...and when i moved in with him! only thing that was wrong...one tooth was a little out of line....now i have 5 gaps...four with nothing there...and the 5th is where my dentures are.
I guess you could call me crazy i mean i can barely leave the house without crying. I cant live my life b/c of what HE DONE TO ME! You said on a comment on my blog that my life is boring...yeah it is. it truly is.
But what can i do about it? Nothing. I even cancel doctor appointments b/c i cant leave my "safe place"
and just so you know if someone says NO when a man is trying to sleep with her and he continues and she submits b/c shes scared as hell THATS RAPE! i remember texting someone afterward and saying something like if you say no to your husband is it still Rape...she said yes. and to tell someone but i didn't. I couldnt. I was so blind i didn't want him out of the navy thats all he had other than me.
As for that email...I was pregnant in November 2008...i lost my tube and the fetus. Like i said before he was trying to talk to other girls on Myspace and myyearbook.com...We both had problems after my surgery.
I left one day to bring my dog to Ohio..we agreed that we were separated. and the thing i was talking about was a kiss and nothing else. i don't really have to tell you but oh well i did.
I'd really like to talk to you about whatever ?'s you may have or whatever but i'm not going to do that on the phone, most likely i'd start freaking out and having a panic attack and well its not something i want to go thru.
i was driving the other night a song came on and it started a panic attack, i almost wrecked.
My life is hard. Randy put me thru hell. All that your hearing is everything he has to say. Randy is great at lies.
i dont care if you claim all of that was a lie.
its pretty hard to believe that Randy didn't have someone when he was on deployment, he can never be SINGLE.
As for me contacting him...i haven't even tried. other than nov or dec when i called to make sure he was ok.
thats it. the only contact i have with him is thru the Navy.
By the way, i'm being told he probably won't get kicked out of the Navy for everything...he'll have to wait until his time is up.
His "friends" well all i have to say is Glenn came around all the time until he got out of the navy and went back home he spent his last day with us. Glenn's wife and i are still good friends....Carter came around all the time...Dereck lived with us but when he screwed us over Randy and i talked and we HAD to kick him out. Nathan...i was sleeping and he came in a touched my leg, i wasn't comfortable around him. Randy even spent a whole day with a girl that is in VP 16 with him. we went to parties, cook outs, and just hung out with friends all the time. Chris and Deb were great friends. i miss them to death and i have no way of contacting them. We even went to a "concert" with one of his friends that i don't recall his name.
Randy never talked about any other friends. If he did then he never talked about them to me.
So the "FRIENDS" that say they never came around for me...i'd like to know who the hell they were b/c i get along with almost everyone. i become friends with anyone i meet. hell i even made friends with our neighbors
i hung out with my close friend in Florida almost everyday....unless he told me not to. or wouldn't let me. Hell she even helped me pack up my shit the FIRST time i left him. her husband even told me i was better off.
so these friends that never came over bc of me...are making shit up. or they were fed lies just like you.
I'm tired of defending myself to you.
from now on i'm promising myself i wont acknowledge anything you say unless you can be "civil"
you don't know me.
your fed lies.
thats it the end.
So you want to be civil, well lets be civil. I really dont care what you have to say about Randy. There is 2 sides to every story. I understand that you hate him, but do you honestly think Im going to believe anything you say? I heard storys about you through his family, Why would they lie? Ive been down this road before having someone say shit just so I wouldnt want to be with that person, But as for Randy and I being together, Thats none of anyones business, We were never together. Yes we are friends!! What your trying to do to him is wrong! He deserves so much better,You cant give him what he wants nor needs. You say in ur blog that you cant wait for ur divorce so u can move on, but yet you lied about not living at ur address that you were served at,you know damn well you live there, it even stated it in that court hearing you had to go to that your living there. The reason you dont want to get served is because once the divorce is finalized you wont be getting his money anymore! You wont have shit! And thats the REAL reason! You'll have to live off mommy and daddy or get a job. You wont get suppousal support because yall havent been married long enough. Oh and as for that case for the support, he went to the appointment Monday for it and whoever u had messaging me on my formsping, unless it was you, Lied, No one called about the case, He asked the lady and she said that no one has called, and the REAL reason it was staying open is because it was opened in the first place so they want to make sure he keeps sending the money that he has! So stop lyn, or trying to lie. I can be a civil person, trust me, Im super nice, but you have been the BIGGEST bitch ever to him, and no Im not gonna sit back and watch some crazy person, like urself, fuck him over. Maybe you need to change ur attitude towards him and things will change. Dont forget, your the one who is facing charges for that sprint phone, because YOUR the one who opened it up, why would he open one up when he closed the one u had. Now we can be civil about this divorce or we can be ugly about it and keep the charges against you. So, If you want the car you can have it, but you have to make the payments and Randy will pay ALL the marital debt and will drop the charges against you for the phone and yall can go yalls seprate ways. If you dont agree to this,your facing jail time sweety. I know if I was going through a divorce I would agree to this.
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is you say "we" like you are together. I'm not agreeing to his demands...Change my attitude towards him...Nope he is a monster.
ReplyDeleteand he changed his cell number and everything so how can we talk and be civil to each other? its not like i can get ahold of him and talk about this divorce.
i don't live at my parents house sweetie.
yes in feb when i got pulled over i used that address but i dont live there anymore.
remember me telling you i'm scared for my life?
why would i stay somewhere..when he knows where its at?
You Know his email address so dont even say you dont know how to contact him...and he's pretty much willing to give up the damn car and drop everything. Maybe if you email him he might talk to you about it...but all he wants is to get this done and over with.
ReplyDeleteI Cannot contact him.
ReplyDeleteI filed for a protection order. He could go to jail if we had any contact. as for the car...Well my divorce is between my husband and i- NO ONE ELSE. I'm sure he'll tell everyone whats going on as soon as he knows. but i'm not going to discuss my Divorce with whoever you are.